Gwen's Corner

Twas the show before Christmas
And all through Ft. Worth
The girls were all seeking
The guys who had girth

The cast was out smoking
When they were supposed to be selling
But I won't rat them out
Because that would be telling

The lineup was posted on the wall with great care
In hopes that everyone scheduled would actually be there

There was Wes with his fishnets
And Amy's fake dong
Fair Eris, Wee Lyndi
They all joined in song

Then Nuggett and Emily played an incestuous pair
Sean wore a gold Speedo, and Mike had a chair

Shannon had a book
Cody a motorbike
And Madame Leah got naked and gave everyone a lapdance...PSYCH!

Paul, Bizah, Charles, Walker, and Danny
Were the technical crew
Sean, Walker, Charles, and Cody
Lifted big props with bulging thews
(it's a word, look it up)

And with colorful shirts
The Transies did dance
Well, some of them danced
The others mostly pranced.

On Donna, Pete, and Melissa!
On Gus, Britt, and Scott!
On Mary, Jon, and Buttons!
Ashley on Megaaaan would be hot!

With trousers of black
And makeup so gay
They cavorted and frolicked and then went away

Jason, Jeremy, Marc, and Shannon
Yelled shit at the screen
Drawing humor from racism
And internet memes

And after it ended, and the theater was clean
Madame Leah gathered us all around for our cast meeting
And before we went off, into that cold winter's night
She said: "Merry Christmas to all, now let's get some fucking food, bitches!"