Gwen's Corner

Can anyone say clusterfuck?

Imagine if you will, a time machine, that is situated in Theater 2 at the Ridgmar Movie Tavern... now, imagine that a group of borderline insane, mentally deficient people got a hold of that time machine... welcome to LB's Historical Character Show.

This is why Leah shouldn't give us weeks off.

Here be the lineup...
Frank- Fish (Ponce de Leon)
Janet- Ashley (Nefretiti)
Brad- Cody (Billy the Kid)
Riff- Nuggett (Ulysses S. Grant)
Maggie- Amy (Lizzie Borden)
Columbia- Mary (Joan of Arc)
Dr. Scott- Donna (Amelia Earhardt)
Rocky- Britt (The Missing Link aka a Gorilla)
Eddie- Charles (Teddy Roosevelt)
Crimmie- Mike (Charles Whitman)

There were also a handful of dinosaurs, a cowboy or two, some rennies, Hitler and Mrs Hitler, a hipster, a hooligan, a couple alcoholics and I was a Spartan.

This show was basicly a clusterfuck of confused genre's and random comedic bits. Jason coined it Nerf-a-palooza or somesuch because of the random gunfights and assassination attempts between Mike and everyone else on the stage. I slayed a few dinosaurs, but then got stabbed by good ole Teddy Roosevelt who then proceeded to have a swordfight with Joan of Arc. What. The. Fuck.

There were plenty of virgins abound that night, many of whom actually enjoyed all the zany uncoordinated antics. Yay. I also talked about a dozen people into taking their shirts off to join me in Shirtless o'clock. I think they believed me when I said it was a regular part of the show. It was awesome. I also made a bunch of girls yell in surprise and awe and call each other whores regarding the proximity of my genitals to their faces.

Flooshow was rather rediculous. I especially enjoyed Britt. After some dancing and the dissapearance of Miss Earhard the show ended with a drunken General Grant going gangster on the ass pirate with his acquitted sister cackling with glee (Amy looked awesome btw)

Lets hope this show never happens again. God have mercy on anyone who witnesses that again.

~Gus